And now for something completely different...

Well friends, my recent threads seem to have generated much debate of a serious and sometimes heated nature, so to lighten the mood how about we have a fun thread of humorous one liners, slogans, and character mottos for an Order of Hermes t-shirt concession?

Something like:

Life is a Botch and then you Warp! :wink:

Got Vis?


Creo giveth and Perdo taketh away

From waaaaay back in 2nd Edition during a heated argument between players...

"Great Blow Me!"


Stolen from some website many years ago and probably referring to third edition I have this list.

Ars Magica

Capsule Opinion:
“Real Men” think there aren't enough combats
“Real Roleplayers” like the setting
“Loonies” like the myriad of possible spell effects
“Munchkins” think magi aren't powerful enough.

Advantages of the setting:
“Real Men” like the Crusades
“Real Roleplayers” like the richness of the paradigm
“Loonies” like mendicant monks
“Munchkins” like being able to look up the answers

Advantages of the game:
“Real Men” like starting with battle-worthy wizards
“Real Roleplayers” like the long-term character development
“Loonies” like the chance to make the Crown-prince think he's a slug
“Munchkins” like being able to spont level 80 spells

Problems with the game:
“Real Men” think the Code of Hermes is too restrictive
“Real Roleplayers” think there aren't enough flaw points to define their characters
“Loonies” think there aren't enough ways to pull pranks on the mundanes
“Munchkins” think longevity potions don't last long enough

Favorite Houses:
“Real Men” join House Flambeau or House Tytalus
“Real Roleplayers” join House Jerbiton
“Loonies” join House Criamon or House Merinita
“Munchkins” join House Bjornaer

Favorite Variant Magi:
“Real Men” don't do variant magi
“Real Roleplayers” play Shamans
“Loonies” play Faerie Companions
“Munchkins” play Diabolists

Favorite Virtues for Magi:
“Real Men” have an affinity with Ignem or Perdo
“Real Roleplayers” have the Gentle Gift
“Loonies” have Withstand Magic and Berserk
“Munchkins” have Heartbeast - Great Worm of the Pyrenees

Favorite Flaws for Magi:
“Real Men” take Fury
“Real Roleplayers” take Sense of Doom
“Loonies” take Magic Addiction, Lack of Concentration and Chaotic Magic.
“Munchkins” don't understand the concept

Means of overcoming flaws:
“Real Men” kill their Enemies
“Real Roleplayers” join monasteries
“Loonies” use self-flagellation
“Munchkins” seem to have lost that bit of paper

Favorite Companions:
“Real Men” play crusading knights
“Real Roleplayers” play wandering friars
“Loonies” play time-travelling Californians
“Munchkins” play Richard the Lionhearted

Favorite lab work:
“Real Men” find it too fiddly, and stick to the library
“Real Roleplayers” take familiars and apprentices
“Loonies” use experimentation with vis
“Munchkins” invent 'Cleanse the Verminous Infestation of People'

Favorite Spell:
“Real Men” cast Pilum of Fire
“Real Roleplayers” cast Frosty Breath of the Spoken Lie
“Loonies” cast Confusion of the Insane Vibrations near a clifftop
“Munchkins” cast Opening the Earth's Pore

Favorite Skill:
“Real Men” like Penetration
“Real Roleplayers” like Guile
“Loonies” like Scribe Pig-Latin
“Munchkins” like Affinity - everything

Favorite Rule:
“Real Men” like open-ended die rolls
“Real Roleplayers” like personality traits
“Loonies” like botches
“Munchkins” like spontaneous magic

Favorite Quotes:
“Real Men” say "I kill demons and eat them for breakfast."
“Real Roleplayers” say "How can you believe him? He's a Christian!"
“Loonies” say "I healed the dog. I took his toe nails."
“Munchkins” say "Certamen!"

From our resident Tremere

"Perhaps we should invite him back for some Transylvanian Pole-Dancing?"


"If I like you I'll sharpen the stake first"

This all goes above the head of most people in Mythic Europe, but the more travelled people give him a wide berth.

:laughing: good ones :laughing:

The last one we had is:

"Take that, you lousy quaesitor!!" before basically create a crater where Toledo (Spain) used to stay. During an insult exchange that escalated into a full battle between 2 whole covenants... and a hippie-like quaesitor trying to mediate in the conflict. He did not suceed. End of (gfailed) saga sentence, BTW.

The "F*CK!!" after the original 0 roll using EIGHT pawns of Perdo & Vim vis that ended up in a MASSIVE botch that opened a portal to hell in our home covenant is quite famous as well. It was yelled in English, even if the player does not speak that language regularly.

Calling Flambeau the founder an "overrated piece of junk" in Val Negra does not stand as one of the most intelligent pieces of human behaviour either.


Didn't ya know that swearing in a non-native tongue makes it harder for the divine to catch you out in a sin? :wink:

Seen on a spoofed inspirational poster showing a picture of shrivelled old man:

House Tytalus: Don't pick on the old guy! He's old for a reason!

Huh, looks like I might be a roleplayer! I was aiming for munchkin :frowning:

Leaving aside the opinions.

My current PC.
Gentle Gift
Not enough flaw points, I narrowed it down to the best ten from about 15.
Guile like a bastard specialist (Com+5 and Guile at 5, nearly to 6)
11 years out of Gauntlet, about to take an apprentice (have the person, and all arts at 5+ just not the time owing to covenant actions).

Tytalus: " He is in league with demons...."

Quaesitor: "Our Sodales from House Tytalus should know..."

It went downhill from there...

Huh ?

Humor ?
Here ?
Check´s board.......
I`am at the Ars Magica Board ?
Damm must be parallel World huh ?

Quickly logs out.........

SG: "You look over and you see a... (pauses to think of the word)

Criamon player: "BUGBEAR!"