Mr Ferguson’s Cornwall pdf — We’re looking for volunteer proofreaders!

This project has its own page on Project:Redcap.org : it’s here

As always, this pdf file shall be free of charge!
But…

Timothy Ferguson and I are looking for all volunteer and benevolent proofreaders who might re-read this pdf.
Will you please report and post all your remarks here on Atlas Games’ forum.
English in this pdf is American English.
Some parts of this pdf are in Olde English. They don’t need to be corrected for any supposed typo.
That said, typos, missing words and punctuation marks misuses are all problems we need to solve.
Well, we still hope you will enjoy your reading!

Thanks by advance to all of you, folks!

The file : is here

Please report using this format:

Page number: # (the actual page number displayed on the page)
Column or Paragraph number: #
Line number: #
Word: #
Error type: # (typo, missing word, punctuation misuse, or whatever…)
Should be: # (your correction here)

Tx

Original source pdf : is here

1 Like

Please help us out there, gang. I'm hopeless at proof reading myself, and David's done some absolutely beautiful layout work on this.

2 Likes

Is there an easier way of determining the line number than just manually counting?

That's David's area, but paragraph number then line might work?

Sure it might! Ehrg… it will!

I've had an initial go at the first 21 pages. Disclaimer: I have no particular expertise in proof-reading.

Page number: 6
Column number: 2
Line number:
Word: Ckub
Error type: Typo
Should be: Club

Page number: 6
Column number: 3
Line number: Many
Word: Plot hooks: untitled
Error type: Something gone wrong in the indexing?
Should be: Either delete altogether or replace with something more meaningful

Page number: 6
Column number: 3
Line number: Several
Word: Notes
Error type: Something gone wrong in the indexing?
Should be: Either delete altogether or replace with something more meaningful

Page number: 8
Column number: 1
Line number: Several
Word: Notes
Error type: Something gone wrong in the indexing?
Should be: Either delete altogether or replace with something more meaningful

Page number: 8
Column number: 2
Line number: 7
Word: Notes
Error type: Something gone wrong in the indexing?
Should be: Either delete altogether or replace with something more meaningful

Page number: 8
Column number: 2
Line number: 2nd and 3rd from bottom
Word: “Plot hooks: Peace 134
Plot hooks: Peace 134”
Error type: Repeated entry
Should be: Delete one copy

Page number: 8
Column number: 2 and 3
Line number: Last line of column 2 and first line of column 3
Word: “Plot hooks: Jailbreak? 134
Plot hooks: Jailbreak? 134”
Error type: Repeated entry
Should be: Delete one copy

Page number: 8
Column number: 3
Line number: 8 in initial section, second line of “Sursum” section
Word: Notes
Error type: Something gone wrong in the indexing?
Should be: Either delete altogether or replace with something more meaningful

Page number: 11
Column number: 2
Line number: 6
Word: “constructs a castle, to reawaken the stories of the Once and Future King,”
Error type: Overuse of commas. Possibly a matter of taste rather than a strict error.
Should be: “constructs a castle to reawaken the stories of the Once and Future King,”

Page number: 11
Column number: 3
Line number: 6
Word: “e n c h a n t e d s l e e p ? T h e”
Error type: Formatting (random extra spaces between letters)
Should be: “enchanted sleep? The”

Page number: 12
Column number: 2
Line number: Line 3 of “Magical Disaster”
Word: “o f t h e l a n d a r o u n d M o n t”
Error type: Formatting (random extra spaces between letters)
Should be: “of the land around Mont”

Page number: 12
Column number: 3
Line number: Sidebox title
Word: “on the future :”
Error type: Formatting (gap before “:”)
Should be: “on the future:”

Page number: 13
Column number: 1
Line number: Magi section, bullet point 2
Word: “m a g i s e e k i n g o d d r e s e a r c h”
Error type: Formatting (random extra spaces between letters)
Should be: “magi seeking odd research”

Page number: 13
Column number: 1
Line number: Magi section, bullet point 3
Word: “E x M i s c e l l a n i a i s n a t i v e t o”
Error type: Formatting (random extra spaces between letters)
Should be: “Ex Miscellania is native to”

Page number: 13
Column number: 1
Line number: Magi section, bullet point 3
Word: “Ex Miscellania is native to”
Error type: Missing bullet point
Should be: “*Ex Miscellania is native to”

Page number: 13
Column number: 2
Line number: Bullet point 2
Word: “House Tytalus and Tremere may clash in Cornwall, as it is situated between their Domus Magnae in Brittany and Wales.”
Error type: Canon error. Blackthorn is not the Tremere Domus Magna.
Should be: ? Change to Tytalus Domus Magna and a major Tremere House covenant in Wales?

Page number: 13
Column number: 2
Line number: Companions and Grogs section, line 1
Word: “Cornish characters, from humble backgrounds”
Error type: Grammar – surplus comma
Should be: “Cornish characters from humble backgrounds”

Page number: 13
Column number: 3
Line number: Sidebox, paragraph 3 line 2
Word: “William’s the Conqueror’s”
Error type: Grammar – surplus apostrophe
Should be: “William the Conqueror’s”

Page number: 15
Column number: 3
Line number: Sidebox 1
Word: The entire box contents
Error type: Repeated content; same text is found at the start of page 13
Should be: Delete one copy

Page number: 16
Column number: 2
Line number: Paragraph 2, line 8
Word: “Part of this was to allow his guest”
Error type: Single when should be plural
Should be: “Part of this was to allow his guests”

Page number: 16
Column number: 3
Line number: Sidebox, first paragraph line 4
Word: “Can the magi steal way skilled”
Error type: Typo
Should be: “Can the magi steal sway skilled”

Page number: 16
Column number: 3
Line number: Sidebox, third paragraph line 7
Word: “or control their the parameters”
Error type: Extra word
Should be: “or control the parameters”

Page number: 17
Column number: 1
Line number: First paragraph, line 4
Word: “(the last comprehensive census.”
Error type: Missing bracket
Should be: “(the last comprehensive census).”

Page number: 19
Column number: 1
Line number: Sidebox, 1226
Word: “forbid-den”
Error type: Typo
Should be: “forbidden”

Page number: 19
Column number: 1
Line number: Sidebox, 1230
Word: “Being in the Royal Navy is not permitted under the code”
Error type: Historical nitpicking – I don’t think it was called the “Royal Navy” until the restoration of the Monarchy (Henry VIII had the “Navy Royal”, but I don’t think that goes back to 1220 either). This one may be deliberate.
Should be: ?

Page number: 20
Column number: 1
Line number: Sidebox, paragraph 2, line 1
Word: “At Anthony”
Error type: Typo?
Should be: “St Anthony”

Page number: 21
Column number: 2
Line number: Sidebox, paragraph 4, line 10
Word: “at at neap tides”
Error type: Repeated word?
Should be: “and at neap tides” ?

2 Likes

page 5
column 1 - "plot hooks: cardinham and and restmorel"
error type: typo
and also
page 18
column 1, lines 1- 3 of the sidebar title - "Plot hooks: Cardinham and Restmorel" - for both of the above, the castle is Restormel. You'll be relieved to know everywhere else it is spelled correctly.

1 Like

Well…
All your proposals have been examined.
A great part of them have been accepted and applied (but pdf inline still remains the same).
A few of them have been rejected.

Many thanks to you @Salutor and @darkwing!

Two questions still remain. Only Mr @Timothy_Ferguson may answer to them:

Please, keep on proofreading this pdf file, will you? :smiley:

Oh! Did you mean “away” instead of “sway” when you submitted “Can the magi steal sway skilled…”?

1 Like

Salutor is right. It's the domus magna of Tytalus in Brittany and an Autumn Tremere covenant in Wales.

Similarly, he's right that it's the "royal fleet"or the "king's ships" in 1220. The Royal Navy claims them as an ancestor, but the current Royal Navy is after game period.

And yes, away, not sway.

Thanks all.

Changes shall be made. Here, it's four in the morning. Have all a good morning/day/evening/night!

1 Like

Not to go off topic but can I just say how interesting and thought provoking it is when one considers all the nuances that using Royal Navy vs royal fleet or king's ships. One evokes in a single phrase so much more meaning then the other. Its just really really interesting.

That said, now on topic, this is a very interesting project, one that I plan on reading when I have the necessary free time and mindset that such a thing entails. It really is cool, and a very nifty area, especially the whole flooded land that has sooo much potential. I mean, what if it didn't sink but transferred into the Magic Realm. There is some really nifty campaign potentials there.

So yeah, really cool stuff!

1 Like

Page number: 11
Column or Paragraph number: 1
Line number: 6
Word: bought
Error type: wrong word
Should be: brought

I don't think that " Joseph of Arimathea who bought his teenage nephew, Jesus" is the intended statement.

3 Likes

Are you also looking for comments on the contents page?

For example, I'm not sure how useful it is to have nine references to page 25, all listing different types of metal. I think this would be clearer if just the top-level 'Other Cornish Mining' entry were present. The detailed list of metals would be better suited for an index.

Page number: 15
Column number: 2
Line number: First item in bulleted list
Word: Pay "due capons" which head taxes, not actual poultry
Error type: Unclear meaning
Should be: I don't understand this bullet - should 'head' be 'are', i.e. 'which are taxes'?

Page number: 15
Column number: 2
Line number: Fourth item in bulleted list
Word: Sue at the lord's court
Error type: Unclear meaning
Should be: Perhaps this should be 'Bring legal cases to their lord's court, rather than any other court' . I don't understand why suing your lord is a requirement!

Page number: 15
Column number: Second boxed text
Line number: 11
Word: Richard of the Romans
Error type: Unclear meaning
Should be:There are several Richard's referred to in the book. This is the first mention of Richard of the Romans; I think it would be useful to give some information about who this is, either here on or on page 17 (last paragraph), which is the first non-boxed text mention of him. Is he one of Richard of Almain's relatives, or an unrelated Richard?

Page number: 18
Column number: 1
Line number: 16
Word: Richard
Error type: Unclear meaning
Should be: Is this Richard meant to be Richard of Almain (referred to previously in the paragraph), or Richard of the Romans (described as acquiring Cardinham on page 17)?

Page number: 17
Column number: Second boxed text, 2nd entry (1217)
Line number: 5
Word: Treaty of Lambeth
Error type: Missing cross-reference/context
Should be: What is the Treaty of Lambeth? The boxed text implies that this should be well understood, but there's no other mention in the book of this Treaty. Some extra context would be useful for people less familiar with early English history :slight_smile:

Page number: 20
Column number: Church Lands boxed text; 3rd paragraph
Line number: 4
Word: rebel-led
Error type: Incorrect word
Should be: 'led the rebellion' or similar.

Page number: 20
Column number: Church Lands boxed text; 4th paragraph
Line number: 6
Word: 'chapter on saints'
Error type: Missing chapter/page number
Should be: 'chapter XX on saints, pXX'

Page number: 21
Column number: 1
Line number: 13
Word: 'earl'
Error type: capitalisation
Should be: Earl

Page number: 21
Column number: 2 (boxed text)
Line number: 1st paragraph, lines 6 and 7
Word: Mount
Error type: inconsistent spelling/capitalisation
Should be: sometimes it's "Mont", sometimes "Mount" and sometimes "mount".

Page number: 21
Column number: 2 (boxed text)
Line number: 3rd paragraph, 1st line
Word: Pillackm
Error type: typo?
Should be: Pillackm seems a very odd place name. Is the final m a typo? 'Pillack' reads better.

Page number: 21
Column number: 2 (boxed text)
Line number: 2nd paragraph, line 2
Word: 'covered'
Error type: missing words
Should be: 'covered by the sea'?

Page number: 21
Column number: 2 (boxed text)
Line number: 4th paragraph, line 4
Word: 'now aggregated to the ocean'
Error type: unclear meaning
Should be: Does this mean the land is flooded? I'm not sure what exactly is meant by this phrase.

Page number: 22
Column number: 2
Line number: 3rd paragraph
Word: entire paragraph
Error type: hard to read against the very dark background image
Should be: Not sure how to improve the legibility, but I had to select the text to be able to read it

Page number: 24
Column number: 1
Line number: 12 and 16
Word: Stannary
Error type: typo
Should be: Stannery

Page number: 26
Column number: 1
Line number: 3
Word: far to precious
Error type: typo
Should be: far too precious

Page number: 26
Column number: 1
Line number: 6
Word: surer than rough
Error type: missing word
Should be: surer than rough what?

1 Like

Sure I do.
Contents page was made by hand and is already put in form; and I have no possibility to make an Index page (automatically) with my publishing app.
Multiple references to pages : so, is this so troublesome? That’s a real question I ask you all.

Capons are head taxes.
Suing at your lord's court seems ok to me...
Richard of the Romans and Richard of Almain are the same person.
I need to check the source for Pillackm.
"Aggregated to the ocean" means that a lake has joined the ocean.
Stannary is the correct spelling...
"Rough " s a type of stone described earlier in the paragraph.

1 Like

@Timothy_Ferguson

Page number: 13
Column number: 2
Line number: Bullet point 2

So, do I change:
"House Tytalus and Tremere may clash in Cornwall, as it is situated between their Domus Magnae in Brittany and Wales"

Into:
"House Tytalus and Tremere may clash in Cornwall, as it is situated between the Tytalus Domus Magna in Brittany and a major Tremere House covenant in Wales"

Is that correct? (Sorry, I'm French and my English is not as fluent I could wish…)

1 Like

That is much clearer.

I think a contents page doesn't need to link to every single sub-heading, as otherwise it's very hard to browse. I think you want to have the chapters and main topics within them, but I don't think that the individual sections need to be there. Another example is for the introduction - I'd go with 'Boons & Hooks', rather than listing them out.

One suggestion is to move plot hooks to a separate ToC (as is often done with Ars books), as they really clutter the list up, and aren't massively informative by themselves.

Basically, an 4 page ToC for a 150-page book seems a bit much :slight_smile:

Also, will you be adding bookmarks to the final pdf? I'd highly recommend adding ones for the chapters at least.

Alright! I gonna change that as you do say…

Bookmarks shall be added… by hand! So, I won't copy all Contents page into them! :smiley: