It will echoe to him. He would have loved to have a child, he would have loved to... No. Don't go there.
Oh. I didn't thought about it. Have years flown so fast past us? Sigh... I guess I shall consider it, too, then.
And at least, having a LR will close that door, by depriving him of this theoretically possible, practically impossible, idea.
Hum, he's pretty good at folk ken, and has known cygna. Did she ever confide to him that she hoped to have a child?
What a wonderful idea! Of course!
But then, we'll have to figure what I can do to repay you. There's absolutely no way you'll get away with this
And he means it, but it also means spending more time with cygna, which is something he enjoys and looks forward to. At least as much as he can enjoy something. Which is, so long as he doesn't enjoy himself too much
When did/does Heims start his LR? He has SFB, IIRC, so it isn't needed until 1237...
So the question becomes does Cygna seduce Heims (consciously or not)? Heims might forget his Lost Love for a moment of passion with someone he holds in high esteem only to be further convinced by his indulging in his ardor with Cygna that True Love is ever lost to him. Consider that Cygna has had 10 years to work on Heims and they have been through life and death situations. Eventually people give in to the moment, the question for Heims and Cygna is do they give in to the moment at the same time?
Every now and then, she will be watching the children at play, or "babysitting" Rodrigo (Celestria's boy), and will get a wistful look on her face. [color=red]"I would love to have children someday, before I get too old (if it's not already). But I don't know if I would be able to raise one by myself, and it would have to be with the right man," she says with a sidelong glance at Hiems that he probably misses.
Cygna smiles and offers Hiems a glass of wine. [color=red]"It is hard to believe, isn't it. It seems like only yesterday that we first arrived, and had our first meeting in the pool."
Cygna grins. [color=red]"Remember when Azura grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me into the water? I was furious, terrified that someone would see my brands and start asking about them." She chuckles for a moment, then looks at Hiems. [color=red]"Thank you for not running away when I showed them to you, moja ljubov'. That meant a lot to me."
[color=red]"Get away with what?" Cygna says innocently. [color=red]"But I'm sure I can repay the favour somehow. We'll figure something out. "
Cygna's been subtly (perhaps too subtly) working on him pretty much the whole time, and part of her was hoping that he would respond when he saw her naked before the Stonehenge Tribunal (yes, I'm going with what I wanted to happen and not what Arya had happen...works better for our narrative, I think). But I'm thinking that, even if Hiems couldn't see it for himself, that someone or something would have tried to clue him in. Ranging from "Dude, she's totally into you, you gonna hit that or what?" to "Pardon me, Master Hiems, but I do believe Mistress Cygna is quite fond of you. No...I mean she is quite fond of you, if you take my meaning." Pretty much the only thing keeping her from telling her how she feels is the shadow of Madame looming over them. She sees how...broken Hiems is, even after all these years, and she's half afraid that if she's too forward she'll run him off. So she settles for telling him in languages he doesn't understand, in English and in Russian. In fact, for several years, she's taken to calling him moja ljubov' (Russian for "my love") and telling him that it's just a nickname she has for him. Perhaps if she were drunk enough or under other extremely extenuating circumstances she could tell him, "You. Me. Bed. Now," which she's wanted to do on many occasions, but she's afraid of hurting him again. And it's quite likely that, if Hiems had had a particularly bad experience or something traumatic had happened, she was there for him to hold him in her arms, kiss his head, stroke his hair, and tell him everything's okay. Plus, most of the time that Cygna sings around him, it's more mellow love-song types (again, in languages he doesn't understand - English, Russian, Hebrew, Spanish). Perhaps with a touch of Enchanting Music behind it, unless he could tell by it pinging his parma.
Basically, I see them as those two people in your circle of friends that are totally into each other, but for whatever reason haven't screwed up the courage to start dating yet, and you just want to whap them with a rolled-up newspaper to knock some sense into them.
I guess I'm saying that if The Fixer doesn't want to Heims be in a romantic relationship with Cygna that doesn't mean that they don't get together at some point. Things might be forever awkward thereafter and their hooking up, to use the vernacular, might be to The Fixer's benefit to further isolate Heims. IMO, the way this is keyed up, Cygna will force the issue with a gentle touch or embrace, or a kiss on the cheek that accidentally brushes the lips. Will Heims then have the presence of mind to stop things from progressing until their passion is consummated?
Heims has needs though he tries to deny them. His Fairie heritage demands some level of human interaction to feed his essential nature as fae blooded. If his nature is to be cold and isolated, he must do things that further that nature. Consummating his passions with Cygna could represent a deepening of his Lost Love, he loses the ideal that he created in Cygna...
So, When Harry Met Sally. I'll have what she's having...
Or, eventually Cygna gets fed up and satisfies her maternal needs independently of whatever happens with Heims. ((Not suggesting bedding the first Redcap to come along.))
More exactly: He sees it, but then, it ain't possible, so he's seeing things where there's nothing to see.
I understand. I think. There are times where I almost wish it, too, although this is egotistical. I don't want a child to share my curse, nor do I consider this life a blessing.
But you... I know this goes against the Lord's wishes, but we magi are already so much outside the natural order... Couldn't you have one anyway? You wouldn't be alone to raise it, the covenfolk would help you. Hell, you know I would help you, gladly, and love him as if he was my child.
Oh, yes, I remember. The woman was infuriating by her own right, anyway, although I didn't understood the magnitude of your reaction. But, well, there's also the time where Ra'am unknowingly burned the Rego spell I had set up to hold the stones I used to build back my tower. The poor guy almost buried himself that day.
Looking back
Sigh... Yes, I remember. Truth be told, this was a gesture of trust I cherish to this day. Just like when you heard my own... story, and didn't make a fool of me...
You know, I still don't understand how you could fear that. I would really have been a miscreant to run away, and a fool to boot, to see the brands instead of you...
Hum... Thing is, this wouldn't have been a good time for that
He would have barely seen the marks. Both because they're not important to him, and because he would have been stunned by cygna's beauty, and ill-at-ease to see her like this before all these magi. She didn't deserve it.
IMO, he's a bretzel in his head. Her actions would work on him without a problem, especially as he loves her. So, over time, he would probably at least partially admit his, but he would bury them as stupid and impossible, even though they would flare back at times. He can't get over the idea that she, too, would reject him, can't get over that fear, and every time he would feel like seizing and kissing her, he would refrain to not lose her.
Yes... This is fun. Having to switch into Hiems mode again.
This would be very stressful. Coming from most, he would take it as mockery at his expense, and say (and do) nothing. But I can very well see Gerard saying this, and he knows and trusts gerard. So he'd take it as his friend being deluded, or recognizing his feelings for cygna and wanting him to do something either though it is (in his opinion) doomed. And at the same time, he would hope that this were true, but be unable to realize it is.
Oh, this must have happened, if only because at times, he feels really bad. He's a wreck, emotionally speaking, and flees people, but cygna could approach him, under the right circumstances.
And this is something he really, really needs, and he probably did tell her his story at a time like this, although withholding everything that concerns her.
Let's say Gerard marries Raoudha, or something similar involving people he knows and love. He is happy for them, truly, but it echoes within him. So, all of a sudden, he will feel too bad, and flee. Cygna may notice, follow him and...
Exactly.
You could put Hiems in a bed with cygna, he wouldn't dare touch her. He is repulsive.
He would need cygna to kiss him, kiss him again, assure him that yes, this is what she wants... And still, he would probably believe she did this out of pity, at least for quite a time.
In a way, once this is done, things can roll for them to be together, this won't have him retreating or else, but this is such a huge obstacle for both of them that this can perfectly well not happen. And it is not necessarily easy for me (and maybe for Peregrine, too), to decide things OOC instead of IC
Then work through it in character. You two are leaving Gallus Florensis...why? Returning to Phoenix...why? With each other...why? Ignoring what is in your hearts...why? Was The Lady at Gallus Florensis or was she at Phoenix? Note that these are both two completely different interpretations of the object of Heim's Lost Love personality flaw. In Phoenix, it's pretty well established (and amul can inform and expand) that she is a Holy Crusader doing God's work, and not the Church's work. So does this mean she is lost to Heims? You guys can establish a thread for you to work through this, if you'd like, or do it here, although this is more of an OOC thread.
Sometimes discussing things OOC to see possibilities can inform how to play the characters in their truest sense. And it is certainly reasonable and possible that when the characters interact that the chemistry isn't there, or things and circumstance dictate different things to different characters. Heims and Cygna have been together for about 10 years, and have travelled and joined a new covenant together and left that covenant together.
Long way of saying it, if you need to do it in character, do it in character. I suggest another thread to be free of the OOC stuff that was here already and might pop up.
Leaving Gallus because the tribunal, which was the reason for Cygna to come here, is finished. And they just hate the place. It brings back bad memories for cygna, and Hiems doesn't like it either because of this.
Hiems goes with cygna because she is his friend. He cares for her. Not only is the road dangerous (and he wouldn't let her risk it), but he knew, without knowing the details, that this trial was gonna be hard on cygna. So he wanted to be there to help and support her.
Returning to Phoenix because this is their home.
The lady was at phoenix, thanks. Nothing ever happened at Gallus Florensis.
Yes, she is lost to Hiems, please. I could maybe have worked a romantic triangle once, but no longer.
IMO, having the scene above is pretty fine. Thing is, will cygna force her way through Hiems fears and blocks? It may certainly happen. Or they can be drunk.
I do not necessarily want them to have sex or such, but it may happen. I'm fine either way.
Hum...
Ok, another possibility. Peregrine, tell me what you think of it.
During the return travel (this is important, because it makes being closer easier), cygna may be shaken by the trial, although mostly ok (but it was a big tension being lifted out of her shoulders, so she may be shacking and all).
So Hiems, protective and all will come side by side with her, hold her, they'll talk about it, and they fall silent, just watching the flames, and fall asleep. The next night, part consciouly, part naturally, cygna comes close to hiems. And they talk, again, and their hands mingle a little, but not too much, and their legs touch somewhat, but only a little.
And the grogs (say, Gerard and Damien, and One-Eyed Maria?) see this, and leave them alone.
They do this for a few nights, each time closer, each time a little more bold, and this is delicious, but nothing happens. Cygna because she doesn't dare do more, Hiems because he can't imagine cygna wanting to do more: he enjoys her touch, her skin, her presence, but she mustn't realize what's happening, can't enjoy it either, and feels like this is already way more human contact that a monster like him should have.
And even the day, they walk closer, although, in the light of the sun, they don't dare being as close, or touch much, although they sometimes "inadvertently" brush their hands, their arms...
This goes on for a few days... Until something happens. No one can tell who did what first.
Thing is, next morning, Hiems will feel really, really bad. Like he "seduced" cygna when he shouldn't have (he did something wrong), because this is not for him, period. And he fears very, very much that she'll violently rejects him, realizing what he did, this monster. If he wakes up first, cygna will wake alone, as he can't face losing her. If she wakes first, what does she do?
EDIT: Forget this, I see peregrine has other ideas. Leaving it for... Well, writing and deleting is just a waste
Well, if that's true, then there is a WHOLE lot of mileage left to play out, even if Cygna and Hiems did have a kid together. Hiems wouldn't understand her choice, would believe that it must be some kind of moral or ethical decision -- that Cygna knows she could count on him to help raise the child, but obviously she didn't want to have a child with him. "I was just the least repugnant of all the choices."
Thing is, on the one side, this is exactly the kind of thoughts/fears he might have, but on the other, he trusts cygna, and believes her when she tells him she loves him. So, for exemple, once she's reassured him about this, he won't believe she settled with him out of calculation.
But he's unsecure, and will be plagued by his fears for quite some time. One does not rebuild himself from the ground up instantly.
=> She might think she loves him , but she deludes herself. Like, it's because "he was the least repugnant of all choices" so he looked fine, yet, when faced with a better choice, she'll realize it and leave him... Likewise, she is so compassionate that it may have helped her to delude herserlf into thinking she loves him.
He will manage to believe she has affection for him. She has for everyone, even for him, and this helped her delude herself.
So, moral-wise? It's a huge improvement, although it won't be visible to people.
His temper still roughly works as a sinusoid, but it has flatttened and gone a little up, too. Instead of having his low moments with a few peaks where he's at 0, he's usually at 0, with a some lows, and a few moments where he dares to be happy.
Something like this.
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Is Adjoran exorcised for lack of a better word?
I can see Ra'am and Cygna getting into a theological debate of sorts about Adjoran as he's doing her LR (I'm not imagining that we've discussed this already, right?) in 1224. And I think that she's agreed to the Original Research experimentation of her LR. It may need to be reperformed, she just pays for the first LR. All of Ra'ams LRs use Creo vis, or Vim vis that is kosher for lack of a better word.
Right. Cygna doesn't know how it happened, or why (as far as she knows, he was totally real), but either since the Tribunal or since she got together with Hiems, he has been nowhere to be found.
We did discuss Ra'am doing the LR like you said. She would like to wait until Lucius and Livius are about a year old (and she stops nursing), just to be on the safe side, but yeah.
So...when is that. I need to do Ra'am's advancement and consequently Ulrich's and Elizabeth's.
Further, Fiona is going to try and get Ra'am to do Alips LR? What's poor Ulrich going to do?!?
Let's see...they came back from Stonehenge in Spring of 1223 (oh, and I had forgotten that Theraphosa had wanted her to come by Mons Electi for some reason...how do we want to handle that, or do we? Oh, right...something about binding the spirit of that one assassin we got, if I recall?).
Assuming that they spend all of Spring lost, and make it back to Phoenix in summer, and she was with child the next season, so she'd have the twins in summer of 1224, so at least summer of 1225? (depending on when and how long she spends in Mons Electi).
Right, i just haven't gotten around to starting the correspondence yet.
Same thing he's been doing before going to bed and when waking up...just probably a lot more of it
It would be interesting to see how that plays out, though...that would be a real test of his love for Rose.
facepalm Hoo boy. Ulrich assisting Ra'am in a LR for one of the hottest (and possibly one of the loosest) women in western Europe, which probably entails numerous intimate examinations.
He's doomed. Good thing he bought off his Lecherous Flaw.
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