Cygna will thank Leona her time and her assistance, and will head toward the training yard. She is looking for Hiems, Sir Guillaume, and Sophronia, whomever she finds first.
[color=red]"Don't tell me what to do, Adorjan...I think I know a little about how to stay alive. Perhaps even more than you. And I certainly don't want or need your advice...I will be damned if I go down the same path you did."
When she gets to the training yard, assuming that Sir Guillaume is indeed there, she will politely wait to one side until he sees her and comes over to see what she wants.
[color=red]"I was wondering if I could bother you for a few minutes of your time. I would like to discuss Adorjan."
He snorts laughter at the (unintentional?) pun, and then vanishes.
He is instantly recognizable from a long ways off: his lustrous golden hair, his square jaw, and rippling defined muscles mark him as a Norman noble, or a Roman god. He is sparring four men, all of whom are working hard trying to keep the larger man surrounded, but the Redcap himself has not broken a sweat. Indeed, even as his wooden sword cracks on his opponents' armour, he shouts words of encouragement, and suggestions on how they can perform better.
When he notices a maga waving to him, he calls "Hold!" and pairs the men off against each other for more practice. He wipes his face carefully on a discarded tabard, and places a red beret on his head, before approaching Cygna.
With a bow and a fluorish: "Salve, Cygna Bjornaeris. I am Guillaume d'Arras, also known as Little William of Mercere. What brings you to the training yard, maga?" Cygna notes immediately that not only is Adorjan is totally absent, but she feels a strange sense of peacefulness in Guillaume's presence.
He does not seem surprised, and only nods. "Please allow me to express my deepest sympathies at whatever indignities you suffered by his hands; May the Lord show mercy on his tormented soul." He will lead Cygna to the council chamber so that they may speak in private.
Dear Lord, why must you present me with temptation at every turn? Cygna wonders as she admires the man from afar.
Cygna will take a couple of minutes to gather her thoughts and prepare her words as he escorts her to the chamber.
[color=red]"Do you recall," she asks, [color=red]"before we struck him down, how he said that I would never be quit of him, that he would haunt me until my dying day if I were to follow through on my betrayal?"
She looks down nervously. [color=red]"He was as good as his word. He has tormented me almost every day for the last eight or nine years. Taunting me, goading me, giving me counsel, until I am practically at my wit's end. Until recently, he was careful to be sure that only I could see him. However, I fear that he has somehow grown more powerful, and now has the ability to affect the material word."
She takes a deep breath and looks Guillaume in the eye. [color=red]"I do not know how, but somehow he has managed to destroy Flint."
Guillaume's bright blue eyes stare intently at Cygna, and she is discomfited-- as though his eyes can see her every secret, into her very soul.
"Has he now." It is more statement than question, and Guillaume touches Cygna's chin lightly to tilt her face up towards his own. "Well, I sense no deception in your words, despite the infernal stain on your body and soul. I must warn you, though-- I've never attempted an exorcism."
(Oh, and as far as Cygna's lust issues go-- Little William does not have the Blessing of Venus. He has a +5 Presence and the sun shines off of his hair, even on a rainy day. He's quite beautiful, but in that totally inaccessible, look-but-don't-touch, you'll-never-tap-this kind of way.)
[color=red]"I have tried for years to rid myself of my sin, to give him no hold over me. But I am so weak., and I fear that I'm growing weaker. I don't know how much longer I can go on fighting. I hope and pray that you can help, as you've done before. If an exorcism will rid me of him once and for all..." Cygna fights back the tears, hoping and praying that Guillame can rid her of her curse once and for all.
He squeezes Cygna's shoulder reassuringly. "If you came to me because I was there when he died, I understand why... But truly, the tools the Lord gave me to fight evil are not those of the cloth. If you could extend your trust but a bit further, Brother Walter of Hempsham has performed a number of successful exorcisms, and has been a trusted friend to me. He is currently residing at Chester, which is but a short ride from here."
"If it is the Lord's will, it shall be done." He smiles reassuringly, and Cygna feels warmth and hope. Almost as though G-d really loves this guy, or something.
"If you can be prepared to leave within the hour, we could be there before noon prayer. Assuming you don't mind riding with me on Champion."
[color=red]"I can leave now," Cygna replies. Anything to take her mind off of her growing fears for Hiems's life, as she finds herself wondering if he was still in Flint when it was destroyed, and wondering if she will ever know.
He smiles sheepishly. "Forgive me maga, but while you may be prepared for a journey already, I am not." He invites her to accompany him, armours up (yes, he was sparring barechested), returns to the Mercer House, puts a few clothes and provisions in saddlebags. Out in the stable is the most magnificent horse Cygna has ever seen.
Champion's hooves seem to hover on air as he runs. He makes the entire journey at full gallop, never tiring.
Chester is the largest city Cygna has ever seen. It's big, ugly, and reeks of excrement.
Guillaume goes straight to the castle and requests hospitality, from gate guards whom immediately recognize the Redcap and accommodate him. "I am here to see Brother Walter," William explains.
"Oh, sir, but I know the Earl will wish to see you while you're here," the soldier insists.
"I do not know if I will have the time, John, but I will try."
Walter is a gaunt, aging fellow with a severe face.
She's going to be sure that Brother Walter knows who and what she is, and if Guillaume has ever told him about a "man" named Adorjan Megidézó.
If not, she will explain that she is a maga of the Order of Hermes, and that Adorjan was also a magus who, during his life, succumbed to temptation and embraced Satan.
While she was an apprentice, she served Adorjan from time to time as he saw fit to use her talents, and deep breath successfully tempted her to follow him in his quest for power. However, when he decided to sacrifice a woman in pursuit of that power, she repented, went to the authorities (including Guillaume) and helped to kill him.
With his dying breath, he swore that she would never be rid of him, and that he would haunt her until her dying day. And he has. For the last eight years, he has tormented her almost every day. And she's not sure how much more she can take. She's practically begging Walter to help her be rid of him. She goes to church, goes to reconciliation, does her penance, prays often, but nothing has helped.
Brother Walter listens to the entire story, before asking any questions. When he does, though, he is brutally direct.
"What was the nature of your relationship with this man? Was he a mentor, a friend, a lover?"
"Have you personally benefited from the infernal rituals you performed together? Is your life materially advanced from where you would have been without him?"
"Did you betray your cohort because you had truly regretted that what you were doing was wrong, or because you feared the risk that you would be caught and punished was too great?"
"Did you strike him down because it was the right thing to do, or because you feared others would doubt your commitment to righteousness?"
[color=red]"No, he wasn't a lover! He was a teacher, a counselor, a confidant, and at times a brutal taskmaster. But I never felt any lustful desire for him." ((mostly true))
Cygna thinks on this one for a minute. [color=red]"I have to say that I have not seen any benefit from the rituals. If I had not...if I had stayed with him, and if he were still alive and unrepentant, I don't believe that I would be better off today. But materially, I don't see that I am better off than I would be if I were still with him. In fact, I may have sacrificed materially to keep my soul."
[color=red]"I betrayed him because he went too far. He was sacrificing an innocent woman! The rituals we performed together, no one was affected but me. Yes, when I was younger, when I studied under him, I wanted power, I wanted to be loved and respected and influential; who doesn't? But not at that cost!"
Cygna snorts derisively. [color=red]"What commitment to righteousness? I was willingly performing infernal rituals with a man I....with a man I saw as a father, I thought I was willing to do anything for temporal power. But somehow, by the grace of God, I saw that what I was doing, that what I had done was wrong. I was ashamed of what I had done, I still feel that shame to this day, and I wish to God that I had never listened to him, never betrayed the God that I was raised to love and fear. And I struck him down because, yes, it was the right thing to do. It was my duty to do so, and it was the only way to ensure that he did not bring ruin upon us."
He frowns. "I cannot help you unless you tell me the truth."
He taps his fingertips together in thought. "So, if I am understanding you correctly, you saw that you were receiving no material rewards for the demonic rituals you performed with him, he went a step farther than you were altogether prepared for, endangering your safety... and then you betrayed him?"
Guillaume frowns at this, and looks intently at Cygna for her response.
"Were you not also an innocent woman before you dedicated your soul to Satan? Surely you see how stealing a soul away from the Lord is more damaging to Him than taking a life. The woman he killed, so long as she kept faith with the Lord before her death, her soul remained intact; she resides now in Heaven. A reward you have willingly sacrificed, and cannot regain without more sacrifice."
He smirks. "Let me be more precise then, Cygna, who sold her soul, realized she didn't get a good price for it, and now wants it back. Did you kill your partner in sin and crime, in order to escape punishment yourself? You may lie to me, but the Lord knows the truth in your heart; the important thing is for you to face unhappy truths, if you truly wish to-- pardon the turn of phrase-- conquer your demons."
Cygna looks down at her hands, fighting the shame she feels, shame that she hadn't fully dealt with before. [color=red]"I suppose there was some infatuation," she says, then looks Brother Walter in the eyes. [color=red]"But no more than any young woman would feel under the circumstances. He was my teacher, my mentor, but I never offered to sleep with him!"
[color=red]"No. When I agreed to follow Adorjan, I was promised power. The same power that I would achieve through my studies and practice, but quicker, easier, with less effort. Ten years passed, and I saw no benefit, and I was having my doubts. Then this affair with Bethany cropped up, and that was my epiphany, my moment of clarity when I realized that what I had been doing was horribly horribly wrong and wanted to try to make it right. It was too late for Bethany, but at least I was able to keep him from doing anything further."
Cygna sits there stunned, feeling herself growing frustrated and impatient.
Cygna glares at Walter as she tries to process what he's saying. It sounds, to her, almost as though she's doomed, that Adorjan is right, that she has no choice but to surrender herself to him. But she can't accept that...she won't give herself over to a demon again. [color=red]"No," she finally says, [color=red]"I refuse to accept that he is right, that I am meant to be with him, that I want to be with him." She sighs. [color=red]"What do I have to do, what do you want me to do so you will get rid of him for me?"
"Which leaves us with the question then, as to whether you would have experienced this "epiphany" had you actually received the power you had been promised in exchange for your immortal soul. How sincere can your repentance be, when you gave up your place in Heaven and received nothing in return?
"Unfortunately, without any material rewards or other benefits you received from your exchange, I have nothing to use as leverage to try and force out the demonic influence within you. I can still attempt an exorcism, but the odds are against us. Are you certain you have not been materially changed at all by your... experience?"
"Why would you want to be with someone who cheated you? Lured you into sacrificing the one thing you have of any true value, and giving you nothing in return? No, I have not suggested that you want to be with him. I am suggesting that you don't deserve to be rid of him, and somewhere within yourself, a place of truth, where your self-deception cannot reach... you know you don't deserve to be rid of him. You did not turn Adorjan into the authorities because you "repented." You did it for the same reason you dedicated yourself to Satan in the first place-- selfish desire. And now you're asking to be freed from him out of selfish desire. But this torment you describe, Cygna, it is only Purgatory. You have yet to experience Hell, and somehow you have deluded yourself into believing that the spirituality and devotion of holy men can rid you of the punishment for your sins.
"I cannot rid you of him for you. I can help you rid yourself of him, though. It will not be easy, it will not be quick, and it will not be pleasant. Wanting to reap rewards without the prerequisite work for it was what got you in this predicament in the first place.
"If you want to rid yourself of him, first you must be punished for your sins-- not just your sins against the Lord, though those are themselves substantial-- but also your sins against Adorjan himself."
Cygna is going to pretend that the first part is rhetorical.
Cygna looks down. [color=red]"Part of the infernal rituals he did...when he was satisfied that I had fully embraced one of the Deadly Sins, that I was letting the sin control me, control my life...he branded me with the sigil of that Prince of Hell, to show my dedication to a life of sin. I have four of these marks on my body."
[color=red]"I wasn't saying that you were suggesting that I want to be with Adorjan. That's what he's been saying for twenty years. He keeps blathering on about how I want and need to be with him, that it's my destiny, that I will never be complete or achieve my full potential without him by my side...or vice versa.
"And is it selfish to want to be free of a tormenting demon? Or to not be plagued by a spirit that only I can see? Or to not want to go to Hell when and if I die?"
She sighs. [color=red]"But if I must do penance for my sins, so be it." She crosses herself (Eastern-style) and prepares to receive her penance.
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. You desired power, and wanted to be "loved, respected, and influential"; this was the price you placed on your spirit. If you want it back, this is, again, the cost. Will you pay it?"
Cygna hesitates for a moment, then silently disrobes, hoping and praying that she's doing the right thing. She will turn and move so that he can see all of the brands as she points them out; the scars on her back she does not point out, but he may likely see those anyway.
[color=red]"In order to be free of Adorjan, to have my soul again, I must be unloved,I must be weak and powerless, and be disrespected, to be spit upon the rest of my days?"