Ars Python

Games Discussion Ars Magica
1

I blame the following spell ideas on a simple discussion about a real Ars Magica campaign gone horribly awry (the discussion, not the campaign) with a single Monty Python joke...

And pain like this simply must be shared. :smiling_imp:

Artillery of the Terrified Bovine
Re(Cr)An 35
R: Voice
D: Mom
T: Ind
This spell creates and launches a single, living cow at a target within range. The cow flies at a relatively high speed for its weight, with a terrified 'moo' the whole flight, dealing +20 damage upon impact. Once the cow or its remains settle to the ground (or are somehow prevented from doing so by magic), it disappears.
(Base 15, +2 Voice, +1 size, +1 requisite)

Trebuchet of the Cow's Demise
Re(Cr)An 40
R: Sight
D: Mom
T: Ind
Other than the increased range, this spell is the same as Artillery of the Terrified Bovine.
(Base 15, +3 Sight, +1 size, +1 requisite)

Descent of the Landbound Livestock
Re(Cr)An 45
R: Sight
D: Mom
T: Group
This spell creates five cows in the sky, which promptly drop groundward, partly directed by the spell. Each deals +20 damage upon a gruesome impact, before the remains disspate.
(Base 15, +3 Sight, +2 Group)
Rumors persist of a vicious, Ritual version of this spell that drops a total of 500 cows across a field. Such a spell would be level 55 (base 45, +2 size).

"Now, go away, or I will taunt you a second time."

2

Fechez la vache!

Very nice!

Now how about the spell "Peril of the Tower of Maidens!"

3

I got such silly spells published in Hermes' Portal (in two old issues).

4

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Couldnt help to add these two:

I Fart In Your General Direction[size=75] (Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!)[/size]
ReMe 35
R: Voice
D: Sun
T: Group
This spell is phrased with a series of seemingly unintelligeble insults yet those such insulted will for the remainder of the day not be able to plan anything without having at least one major flaw (such as forgetting to hide within the wooden rabbit).
(Base 5, + 2 Voice, +2 Sun, +2 Group)

Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
ReMe 40
R: Voice
D: Diam
T: Group
This spell imbues the targets with a latent fear that, in face of any attack however silly, will make them break in fear and run away - to leave the caster in peace....
(Base 10, + 2 Voice, +2 Sun, +2 Group)

5

Change the form to Terram...

"Toon Drop"

Drops an anvil...

6

Hmmm....

Reminds me of a Mage: The Ascension PC that used to handle opponents with exactly that - dropping a large iron safe on top of his enemies.... especially usefull against enemies that used to be tough and on-coming.