I blame the following spell ideas on a simple discussion about a real Ars Magica campaign gone horribly awry (the discussion, not the campaign) with a single Monty Python joke...
And pain like this simply must be shared.
Artillery of the Terrified Bovine
This spell creates and launches a single, living cow at a target within range. The cow flies at a relatively high speed for its weight, with a terrified 'moo' the whole flight, dealing +20 damage upon impact. Once the cow or its remains settle to the ground (or are somehow prevented from doing so by magic), it disappears.
(Base 15, +2 Voice, +1 size, +1 requisite)
Trebuchet of the Cow's Demise
Other than the increased range, this spell is the same as Artillery of the Terrified Bovine.
(Base 15, +3 Sight, +1 size, +1 requisite)
Descent of the Landbound Livestock
This spell creates five cows in the sky, which promptly drop groundward, partly directed by the spell. Each deals +20 damage upon a gruesome impact, before the remains disspate.
(Base 15, +3 Sight, +2 Group)
Rumors persist of a vicious, Ritual version of this spell that drops a total of 500 cows across a field. Such a spell would be level 55 (base 45, +2 size).
"Now, go away, or I will taunt you a second time."