I have just reread the grapples rules, and then rereread them and rereread them.
The success of a grapple is based only on Attack Advantage. So the grappler's strength really makes no difference?? And size??? A dextrous child (size -1) with +3 Dex and -3 Str and Brawl 0 (1xp), is really a better grappler than a large and burly laborer (size +1) with -1 Dex +3 Str and Brawl 2???????
Actually, I'm going to agree that 3.x D&D came as close to a useful grapple rule as possible.
But this discussion just highlights why there is a Storyguide/gamemaster/etc., in RPGs. You need a thinking human to say: "ok, per the rules Andrius the nine year old child grabs the bear around the leg, Well, its the bear's turn...hmmm. . . the bear rips him in two. No, he doesn't need to roll for it," Rules are supposed to cover the majority of cases, but a human needs to make judgment calls to preserve the verisimilitude and fun of the game- even when the call is 100% against the rules as written.
A character can usually only grapple someone his size or smaller, except with SG permission. (Most people will have trouble grappling a horse, for example, or a giant snake, but perhaps with a really good Ride roll, he can attempt it....)
Grappling is a Brawl attack.
Grapple Strength equals Attack Advantage plus the Attacker's Strength plus five times the difference in size. (Thus, a horse that is grappled by a Kraken has troubles!)
On subsequent rounds, the grappler can use a Brawl Attack either to increase the strength of his grapple or inflict damage on the grappled; the current grapple strength is added to the roll. A grappled character can use any appropriate Martial Ability (Bow doesn't cut it! Nor does Single Weapon for an unarmed character) to escape or inflict damage; the current grapple strength is subtracted from this roll. If the grappled character uses Brawl to escape a grapple, he can reverse the grapple if he is the same size as the grappler.
D&D 3x has ALOT of good sides going for it so you might want to take a look. The adaptiveness above all is possibly the best part... I´ve had some serious fun just trying out the rule variation someone put together for making Bleach style shinigami(edit, and i might add pretty much all other character types as well), including ALL so far shown shikai/bankai abilities, achieving a both "realistic" and working system for that, oh thats just magnificent game designing...
Dont bother with 4e though, it got hit by the "lets make it simpler" extremeists about a thousand times beyond where it stopped being a good idea. Totally lost all character and feeling.
Aside from that, i pretty much adhere to Caelarch´s "But this discussion just highlights why there is a Storyguide/gamemaster/etc., in RPGs."