The Dean, whose family played such a stirling role in the Conventional Exercise, comes from a long line of scientists, and also a long line of mad people. It is with great regret that we notice that the Dean may be the last of his line. We are not sure of the cause: perhaps it is the dreadful gases that were inhaled during an experiment. Perhaps it is a terrible skin condition? For some reason, there are no microdeans, and this is perhaps a dreadful loss ot the annals of Mad Science, or at least Mad Dysgenics.
You are required to perpetuate the bloodline of the Dean. You are permitted to use anthying, with the exception of God, mentioned in the title of a track by R.E.M; golf balls; apricots; and the Eiffel Tower. Solutions that result in many microdeans have advantage over those which result in a single offspring.
You are forbidden to breed with the Dean yourself (unless you -are- the Dean.) It breaches the University's Code of Conduct for staff, you see.
First, sterling. Unless it's one of many of the colo(u)rful differences in Australian spelling.
Second, props for the word "microdeans".
Third, do you mean -
We are permitted to use anything as long it is not in the following set:
{God as mentioned by R.E.M.; golf balls; apricots; the Eiffel Tower}? There went the romantic French date idea...
Fourth, what is our timeline?
And fifth, I was going to give you props for being so thoughtful as to assist my love life, until I read the following: "You are forbidden to breed with the Dean yourself (unless you -are- the Dean.) It breaches the University's Code of Conduct for staff, you see." Le sigh. No MSU cheerleaders for me. cafepress.com/barrysworld.168707805
Ok hum. We'll use the Eiffel tower as a sacrificial alter (to sacrifice Shinny Happy People) to summon H.P. Lovecrafts flying polyps. I'll then bribe them with apricots (and the Kingdom of France) to give me one of their clone rays.
I'll then set the ray to "child" and made a trail with the golf balls from the deans in office putting range to the hall. When the dean steps out into the hall I hit him with the clone ray. Instant infinite supply of microdean clones.
First I will bring down the foremost expert in biomass reproduction and have the "Man in the Moon" to delve into "the Well" of the gene pool and I will have him create multiple microdeans. The complete genetic material from "New York", "New Orleans", "California", "Guatemala", "Europe", and the "Chinese" will be shipped to the University via a "High Speed Train" and will complete the experiment while the biomass is still viable.
The rest of the world, seeing the success of the biomass programme will quickly jump on the "Bandwagon" and add to the biomass in a "White Tornado". A success indeed as multiple microdeans will soon be infesting the campus and the rest of the world!
Visit Paris, Find the River, acquire target, invite her for apricots, cheese, and wine.
Visit the Eiffel Tower, do all sorts of other ridiculously cute things, and Sweetness Follows.
Exude pheromones, enhanced by recent experiments in genetics, stirring Animal instincts with various [i]Electrolyte[/i]s.
Maybe try some Nightswimming.
In the midst of all these diversions, get evil minions to knock us out with golf balls and set up a hostage situation. Convince her that It's the End of the World As We Know It, have them leave us alone for several hours.
Then they take me away, drop her off in the Italian countryside while mentioning how I made them promise not to hurt her before I died.
Yes but how does this result in the dean reproducing? Other then that though a very nice idea, one which I'm sure a number of students will pursue. . .
Sdelear: Raidingparty -is- the Dean. He's participating in my class as part of a Continuing professional Development program to see what the new thinking is, in Mad Science 2.0
Oh, well as long as we have the dean here if he will kindly hold the time travel device. . . don't worry you'll be right back I just need to "barrow" you for a bit for one of our next assignments. . .
o_O ... that's how the Anthropology department disappeared, after which all chronology displacers have been put on the list of "restricted use items" . Herding dinosaurs just isn't worth it anymore.
No barrowing me! I'm not dead yet! Of course, if you had the appropriate device you could just pop in when I'm asleep, or find child-me and kidnap me and take blood and hair samples for cloning... although I don't remember anything of the sort, so you'd have to make me forget it happened as well.
I'dd like to give the point to ve6neo, esseneitally for the dreadful vision of a tornado of white biomass, being formed into little writing dean shapes. That...well...that's just sick, isn't it?
The Dean's entry was again excellent, but...well, he's tried that sort of thing before, hasn't he? I mean...earlier...before the experiment.