To be honest, I found some of your ideas very funny, mostly because they were so off-topic, but none of them were good, nor of any use in an Ars Magica game.
And I'm quite convinced you're not stupid either. It's been fun, let's move on.
It continues to worry me that people openly condemn how one person enjoys role playing, as if they alone had a monopoly on the only way to have fun.
I've seen ideas far, far less useful than some of Abe's scattered about on these boards, but no one felt obliged to savage those contributors, much less continually stalk and openly flame them after decrying them, as if it were a competition.
Abe's ideas are useful to me by contrast, or by opening a door to a tangential thought (enchanting temporary foodstuffs like applesauce, for instance.)
If Abe's contributions are a bit confused or confusing to some, he makes up for that in sheer enthusiasm, and good will and tolerance for those who disagree with him. And that's more than many of us can say for ourselves.
But I have to add that what makes most of us annoyed at Abe is unrelated to how he plays or what he enjoys ingame, but how he acts on the board. And that is all that counts - not what your gaming preferences are.
He asks for responses and many people have spent many hours helping him, just to find that he has not read the rules nor intend to, and most of all that he asks for help repeatedly and takes no effort in listening to people who spent a lot of time answering those calls. And that he stuffs the sticky threads with completely unrelevant material. Moreso it ticks several people off that he comes off as faking certain challenges, and thus makes a heartless jest on behalf of the people truely suffering from such.
Call me a bastard, but I have little tolerance left for Abe, and it took me a long time to get there.