I thought I'd dedicate a thread for people to list the funny quotes that happen in-game. Here are some from mine.
Brian: I’ve almost finished Robyn’s Longevity Potion
Jessica: (sings) Go Robyn! No more birthdayyys!
Jim: You enter the room. You see a pedestal. On top of it floats an impossible object that can’t exist in 3-dimensional space. It appears to have four origin points, yet these four points intersect to form six sides.
Brian: Uh… Jim, I’m pretty sure that’s not an impossible object. You’ve just described a cube.
Jim: Er… it’s an impossible cube. Shut up.
Jess (at meeting with another covenant): Our defenses are really, really weak. Thanks for asking.
Karen: The ST’s tears are my nourishment.
Karen: I think I shall call my book “Horsies Are Pretty.”
Jim: You do understand that an intelligence of zero means you’re of average intelligence. Not mentally retarded.
Karen: Fine. “Why Horsies Are Pretty: A Study.”
Karen: We can dump the tractatus on Magic Theory. I don’t need to raise it until after I’ve gotten my 41 in Ignem.
Jim: No, I really think we should keep the trac… wait, WHAT?!
Karen: Oh my God, we broke the DM! Sweet!
Jess: You don’t have to type word for word what we say.
Jim: It’s a QUOTE list, not a paraphrase list.
Jim: During the summer season, you get a visit from a ghost. It says “Help me, please.”
Jess: I hear nothing. La la la.
Jim: Well, there goes THAT plot.
Jim: You find an abacus.
Jess: Pocket abacus: A medieval Blackberry.
Jim: You find a treasure chest.
Jess: Is it huge? Is it small enough to carry, or do we blast it?
Jim: But... but… those aren’t the only options.
Karen: A lantern to ward against Infernal creatures? Cool, I can keep mom and dad away.
Jess: The in-laws are never pestering our covenant.
Brian: Can we find a copy of Ye Olde Playboy?
Brian: We need apprentice primers.
Jess: So we need the Encyclopaedia Britannica?
Jim: This is Iberia. Don't you mean Encyclopaedia Hispanica?
Jim: It’s funny how all 8 of our characters were born and raised in Spain, yet only 2 of the Companions have accents.
Jim: But… you called me ‘sir’, yet the word she used was ‘douchebag.’
Jess: You see three gnomes. Her name is Lisa, and she’s 396 years old. Her daughter Lily is 76 and her son Harold is 114.
Brian: Wait… so gnomes wear nametags that also list their ages?
Brian: What’s that thing there?
Jess: Let me finish reading the flavor text and you’ll find out, damnit!
Jim: Greetings, gnomes! I am Mateo ex Verditius, and I am 34 years old.